“Mabuk”

I think I am “mabuk” right now
Literally in english is “drunk”.
Well, that’s not what “mabuk” that I wanted to tell now. I don’t drink liquor at all!
The “Mabuk” that I want to tell can be described as below:
1) Let say you have been missing something for such a long time… For example Good food, a long lost friend, a lover, a good relationship, a good partner etc……
2) Suddenly you just found the one that you’ve missed so much. Even though it is not the same as before (May the latter better than the former).
3) Well the one that you’ve found may be not as perfect as you would expect, but you can still tolerate. There might be some trimming, modification or changes, but still it is workable. I would prefer to call this process as giving and taking.
4) However there are some areas that could not be compromised such as basic principles, self integrity, basic human values etc.
5) So, in such process of giving and taking, there are expected some frictions and heart feelings.
6) While going through these processes, mixed feelings will emerged inside you. This is what I would define as “Mabuk”.

This type of “Mabuk” is very dangerous…..
I have been to this “Mabuk” stage for almost two and a half months. There were too many side effects. Among them are:
1. I am not being myself lately. I used to be a joy full and considerate person and now I am not.
2. I love someone too much. Missed her all the time!!!
3. I did BIG mistakes and do not know what to do.
There are other things that makes the side effect of my “Mabuk” stage… Written above are only a few… May Allah forgive me and get me out of this “Mabuk” stage.