“Mabuk”

I think I am “mabuk” right now
Literally in english is “drunk”.
Well, that’s not what “mabuk” that I wanted to tell now. I don’t drink liquor at all!
The “Mabuk” that I want to tell can be described as below:
1) Let say you have been missing something for such a long time… For example Good food, a long lost friend, a lover, a good relationship, a good partner etc……
2) Suddenly you just found the one that you’ve missed so much. Even though it is not the same as before (May the latter better than the former).
3) Well the one that you’ve found may be not as perfect as you would expect, but you can still tolerate. There might be some trimming, modification or changes, but still it is workable. I would prefer to call this process as giving and taking.
4) However there are some areas that could not be compromised such as basic principles, self integrity, basic human values etc.
5) So, in such process of giving and taking, there are expected some frictions and heart feelings.
6) While going through these processes, mixed feelings will emerged inside you. This is what I would define as “Mabuk”.

This type of “Mabuk” is very dangerous…..
I have been to this “Mabuk” stage for almost two and a half months. There were too many side effects. Among them are:
1. I am not being myself lately. I used to be a joy full and considerate person and now I am not.
2. I love someone too much. Missed her all the time!!!
3. I did BIG mistakes and do not know what to do.
There are other things that makes the side effect of my “Mabuk” stage… Written above are only a few… May Allah forgive me and get me out of this “Mabuk” stage.

Rezeki Penghujung Ramadhan

I went to see my MD this morning. Showed him my paperworks on post MOU signing with one of the MNCs. He was glad to see it and told me there are a lot of opportunities around us. He flipped his diary and showed me all the contacts he has and asked me to call them using his name.... (This is not his usual attitude!!!! He normally asked us to find it on our own!!!!! Thanks Boss......)
I called the CEO for one of the port authorities, that guy quite reluctant to talk to me... (hey,... I think this guy refuse to talk to a kucing kurap like me!!!!). He passed me to another guy (his GM, I think) and that guy passed me to another guy, a safety officer!!! We made an appointment on this coming 10th October.
Suddenly, my MD called and say that the Executive Director for main contractor who contruct the port is looking for me! He wants to see me in JB immediately after this hari raya!!!!
You see!!!! I think I am in business rigth now! Something that I dream of since I graduate!!!
Can't wait to tell my gf about it!

My new blog..........

I used to have a blog "Shamkoka", but I forgot the password.
So, I get a new one..... and this time I jot down the password in my diary!
Here are some of my writtings in my previous blog!!!


Saturday, September 6, 2008
Waiting for the right time

How should I start?
And what are the words?
That is nice to be reminisced,

Every face has its own story,
Every poem full of love,
Where is my inspiration?

Light from your eyes,
Smile from your lips,
Draws thousands of questions,

May be you are…..
Lonely,
At this very moment when I am alone,

Pages of letters,
Lying in front of me,
Can’t be sent….

I crumpled it all,
And I threw it away,
Far from my sight,

Suddenly I felt regret,
I collected them back,
I could not tell how I feel,

May be if you know,
How my heart feels,
Will you accept my proposal,

Please listen,
To my appeal,
And this song that dedicated for her,

To the blowing winds,
Please convey the message,
All my thoughts which is exclusively for her,

May be there will be a timeIn a beautiful day,
When I offer you my hand,
You will accept it wholeheartedly…….

Posted by koka at Saturday, September 06, 2008 0 comments

Not Sure What Is Going ON.......

I always had my life direction very clear.....

I know what should be done, where to do it, when to do it, how to do it, to whom I should do it and the most important thing I know why..........

Lately I was totally confused....I kept asking myself..... why????

Few factors that changed my direction lately, among those were:
Environment
Circles of friends
Support from family
Financial conditionand
I guess the major one was....
I kept a distance from frequenting the surau!!!!

Let's talk about frequenting the surau....
I did not say that I did not go at all...
I just feel lazy when ever the muazzin calls the azan,
Eventhough I still go, but still deep inside my heart I feel very lazy!!!
Not like before I always frequent to go to the surau with full enthusiasm!!!

Now, after a lots and lots of stupid things I had done......

I pray to Allah to forgive me and guide me to the right path!!!
It is my fault and I am responsible..I will never blame other individuals for it...

It is ME who is wrong!!!!

Ooooo Allah, please forgive my sin and shower your mercy upon me,if you do not, I am the lost ones!!!!

Posted by koka at Saturday, September 06, 2008 0 comments





Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Posted by koka at Tuesday, September 02, 2008 0 comments
My First Day
They said everything has first time.
I do not know why do I need to have a blog of my own!!
I guess it is the trend now days kot!!!
Well, I intend to use this blog as a medium to express my self.
That's it for now for my first day, my first blog and my first writting.